You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
