My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
