Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
