Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
