She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
