So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
