You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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