one might say we're banned from that church
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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