I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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