do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
