not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
