Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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