Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
