this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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