Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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