Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
