Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
