Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize