Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize