I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
