I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
