She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
