she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
