I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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