My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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