i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
