Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
