So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
