wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
