That's intense
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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