Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
