she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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