i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
