how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
