Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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