Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
