Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Im part way to drunk.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
