dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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