this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
