I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I wanna passion pit in your ass
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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