as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
