Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
