Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
