This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
