i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
