What a fucking waste of an outfit
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
