my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
