Just fell off a train. Bad.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
