Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
