I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
