Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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