Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
