I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
