After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he thought i was a dude.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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