can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
