Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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