u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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