Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
