It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
