i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
