youre lurking in front of me
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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