We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
